If we consider the sum total of all things written, it just might astound us. You would be absolutely amazed at how much information can be scribed about any given topic, be it nuclear fission, amphibian sex drives, or John Denver. Mankind has likely used up so much paper that we could likely cover an entire continent with the number of trees it took to make that same paper. But then, there are just some things that aren't worth writing about.
This is Elf Kong.
Developed back in 1999, the mysterious company, Klepto Software, shared the results of their brief interlude with boredom: a very simple hack of the NES version of Donkey Kong. They basically replaced the palette and sprite of Mario with that of, to quote the Klepto Software website, "the TAC character from the Kirby games." I've played ample amounts of Kirby games in my lifetime, and I still don't know quite what the hell he's talking about.
It is, however, otherwise the exact same game as Donkey Kong. Not even the title screen has been edited to illustrate just how lacking the game is of awesomeness. Oh... wait... no, actually, they replaced the full word "MARIO" on the top-right scoreboard with the word "YOINK". How... clever? The only remaining issue is that, once this "TAC character" rescues Pauline from the grasp of that nasty brown ape, what exactly will they DO together? Aside from perhaps going out to lunch at a restaurant that will serve multiple species, I leave this up to your imagination.
Not that it's really necessary, but screenshots are available below: