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LABEL: YAWA Records RELEASE DATE: May 26, 2006 GENRE: Trance, Techno
// review by SoyBomb

Get ready for the sound of lots of other people!

Real Booty Babes. Based on the title of the group name alone, you can just tell that nothing serious is going to be occurring on their album. The sad part is the reality of things: there are actually no women responsible with the production team! What a misnomer! The Real Booty Babes is actually just a trio of German trance producers (if you can call what they make individually 'trance'... more like hard dance or cheese dance or whatever) with a goofy name. They had been putting out various vinyls since 2004, and in 2006, it seemed like the perfect time to take all the tracks they already made, churn out a few new ones, and put them together on one album -- and now they're all "Connected"!

Well, if Global Deejays and Royal Gigolos were guilty of choppery, The Real Booty Babes are guilty of downright thievery. It seems VERY unlikely that more than one or two tracks on this album were originally written by them, if that. But let's take a look to verify whether my stated fact is true or not, shall we? The album starts off with a three-minute introduction, during which we are treated to an average female voice giving us the Webster's Dictionary definition of what the word "connected" really means, and then she connects us to the "Real Booty Babes Sound System". Thanks, nice lady. 'Preciate it. Well, the intro then shuttles us off to a square wave-based melody, which I recognize from nowhere, so I am just going to assume that it was written by them. It's a nice way to start off the album -- nothing too heavy, just a simple way of greeting the listener. The definition of "connected" was unnecessary though.

However, I know for a fact that the second track, Airport, uses elements from the song "Airport" by Armani & Ghost. That's not a good sign. A male computerized voice asks me if I am ready... but ready for what? I don't know if I am ready for what they're thinking about, but I'm ready to voice my honest opinion: utter garbage. I listened to the original version of "Airport" by Armani & Ghost, and they are VIRTUALLY IDENTICAL SOUNDING. If it weren't for that voice, I'd swear that they were the same song. The Real Booty Babes ripped this one off without even bothering to alter too much. That's plagiarism right there, folks. Expect a trend of no creativity...

The next song does not impress me either. Taking the vocals from Opus III's It's A Fine Day (the lyrics of which were borrowed from Miss Jane's version of the same song), they plastered them (in full though, not much choppi-- oh, I spoke too soon; they did a little bit of that near the end of this short tune) over a bland soundscape of fake guitar and classic cheese-synth, and gave this song the title of... "It's A Fine Day". Whaddya know. The song brings no appeal to the ear, and heck, I never even liked these vocals which have been used in other rehashes of "It's A Fine Day" in the past. So... this is trash too. Let's hope the next track brings us joy! It's Meet Her At The Loveparade, an almost direct-sounding cover of Da Hool's famous track of the same name. Well, you know, they could have at LEAST used different instruments. It sounds almost identical to the original, which was released back in 1997. Clearly these Booty Babes have not yet mastered the art of making a track seem as though it's from its own decade. Yup.

But the worst is yet to come: a cover version of Since U Been Gone by Kelly Clarkson. Using a makeshift vocalist that seems to have less interest in this song than I do, The Real Booty Babes dare to make a well-known pop song sound awful with the now overused Benassi synth from "Satisfaction" and some other scattered classic hard dance synth sounds splattered over top of said vocals. The end result seems like an amateurish unauthorized white label style dance remix that belongs stored deep in an oceanic treasure chest where no one will find it for centuries. Has Kelly Clarkson actually HEARD this? Thankfully, however, I can say that originality may have finally taken its toll with Ready To Go. Though it's not a great song by any use of the word "great", at least it doesn't seem to have any sources outside the Booty Babes themselves. It's pretty much an overuse of the Benassi synth again, only this time interspersed with a female compu-voice saying "Ready... To Go." I guess this is the response to "Airport", asking if we are ready. Well, we are, in a crippling way. On to the next track!

Somebody Else is one song where I may be inclined to say that it is an original production of theirs, simply because I cannot identify the source of the male vocals. Featuring a bass guitar that may or may not be real (I wouldn't be surprised if it was not real), the vocalist croons of... um... how a girl has someone else on the side? Damned if I know. But this is probably the best track on the entire album, since it actually has decent vocals and a moderately attractive synth line in between bouts of singing. Plus they wrote it themselves (supposedly), so props go out to them for that. I can say the same thing for the following track, Das Partybreak, but I can't give it the same praise. It's pretty much just a series of repetitive synth pings and monotone bass square nonsense, mixed with a little bit of vocal sampling from someone who calls himself a Joker. Super. This track is barely creative, and not worth your time.

Following that is Secret, a trip down memory lane for anyone familiar with the song of the same name by Absolom (and you probably are not familiar...). Taking the vocals directly from it (or perhaps a very convincing facsimile), the original melody is used again with no regard for adding originality or magic to the classic track. Same goes with Derb; in fact, they managed to use the EXACT same synth instrument for it! Where's the heart, Babes? Where's the LOVE?! Just accept this as a soundalike, plus a corny vocal sample to keep your eyes partially open. However, to feel the full effect, just nab the original "Derb" by the artist which is also known as Derb.

Bam could be a take on any song, but since I can't pick it out, I will assume that this is their own work too. That's an unsafe assumption, but what the heck. Overusing a simple sample of some dude saying "Bam", The Real Booty Babes have managed to create an interesting acid-style work along the same lines as other artists such as Kai Tracid or the aforementioned Derb. While it may grate on the brains of the majority of the locals in your town, it's still not terrible according to THIS reviewer. It could be vastly improved, however, if they got rid of that damn awful "BAM!" sample. If you could hear it now, you'd agree. Yes, you would.

But UH OH!! Bad news! It appears that "Ready To Go" is a two-year-old track and that simply won't do! It must be updated! So Ready To Go 2006 fills up some space on the CD, and actually it DOES improve on the original by including a much MUCH more melodic choral section, which spruces up the otherwise drab aural scenery. To close the album is the Club Mix of "It's A Fine Day". I have the same sentiments of this as I do about the other version on this album (which is just...shorter, pretty much). This CD also comes with a special video component, showing you a "Making Of..." segment of the album, with interviews and performance footage. However, the "Making Of..." should just consist of us watching them listen to the original artists' songs while one guy holds down a record button on his CD player.

Okay, so there may be more than one or two original songs on this album, but that still does not disallow for my denunciation of their poor efforts! It is just made worse by the pure sound-alike-ism of many of the tracks displayed here. Sadly, users of the review function have given this album at least four stars out of five at the time of this writing. I, however, am not so blind, and I just can't bring myself to grade this album positively. All the rips just degrade from the credibility of this "group", and the choices of songs to cover sometimes boggles the mind -- they should have chosen more ear-friendly songs, as not everyone loves the bland musical entries of Armani & Ghost's "Airport" or Derb's "Derb". Overall, a pauper's effort, strongly lacking originality that should have existed even before this album was planned.

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