Why is this lack of playing them relevant? Well, that is because Robbit Mon Dieu is effectively "Jumping Flash 3", the third entry in the PlayStation first-person platforming series, and a game that never left Japan. Playing the third game first, I guess that makes me a weirdo. Okay then, I'm a weirdo. We all knew that, no surprise.

Despite not having played them, I understand the gist is as follows: Robbit, a robotic rabbit robot thing, has to uncover his missing Jet Pods which were stolen by generic villain Baron Aloha, or something. It was a spiritual sequel to a game called Geograph Seal released for the Sharp X68000, a console nobody has ever heard of. Sony must have heard of it, though, because they thought this was what they needed to make the PlayStation stand out against the likes of the Sega Saturn and the Super Famicom's Super FX Chip. At the time this was most definitely true, but it didn't last.

Little did they know about Super Mario 64 coming just over a year later, but for that short moment Jumping Flash was the most advanced 3D platformer available. It spawned two sequels and a spin-off, but of those only Jumping Flash 2 that made it overseas. While the series failed to maintain a strong momentum outside of Japan, in its home country Robbit Mon Dieu and PocketStation spin-off Pocket MuuMuu continued this series and kept it going right up until the very end of 1999.

Robbit Mon Dieu doesn't really have a story. From what I can gather from playing, you're the everyman sent to solve everybody's problems. "Pests are eating my carrots, please help me, giant RABBIT-SHAPED ROBOT PERSON." There doesn't seem to be a main antagonist collecting purple crystals, an evil plan to resurrect the Führer, or a corrupt merchant to punish with ninja techniques. So, to extrapolate this point, there isn't a genuine reason to play it. Sure, it is mostly pretty enjoyable, but there isn't a method to the madness, if you will. No returning villains from the first two games, either. Where's Captain Kabuki? I guess the lack of overall cohesion could be associated to the slight change in the development teams, but I think it was down to a completely different vision this time around.

The game takes place from Robbit's perspective. You strafe around, turn with tank controls, and generally move pretty awkwardly. Robbit has a weapon, a cannon of some description, but it isn't his trademark skill. No, being a rabbit, Robbit's true ability lies in his jumping. Robbit can jump once off the ground, then a following two more times while in the air. The camera view shifts to below Robbit's feet while performing jumps to make it much easier to see where you are landing. While this is jarring as all heck, it's a necessity to make the game function properly, so I'm glad they do this. It would be really hard to judge jump distance otherwise, so it pays off.

Robbit can also slam down hard on the ground, sending out a shockwave that incapacitates enemies and uncovers stuff hidden underground. There are special projectiles you can fire from your cannon, but you can only grab one special weapon at a time. At least it can be stored and used when required, but if you want another one, you will have to use it or discard it. Apparently the first two games give you three weapon slots, I have no idea why they would cut the slots in this game, but they did it anyway.

So there's no story. You simply complete chores for people. "I can't get home." So I give you a ride home. "I want to see you jump on a series of platforms floating in the air for no particular reason whatsoever." What's that, mate!? "Help, ghosts are attacking the town." Shouldn't have built your town on a burial site, should you. Idiots. What motive is there to play? A fleeting moment of thankfulness? IT NEVER ENDS. Everybody has problems. Why do I have to solve them? What is this, community service? You should take a proper look at the front cover, even Robbit's done with this shtick.

Look at all those polygons! All three of them!

Rabbit Man Dew's set-pieces steal the show. Each location looks notably different, and each mission delivers a different gameplay experience. Even when returning to older levels because a new mission is available, the new mission is derivative of the last but harder, more interesting and creatively set up. One stage has an escort mission, but a later mission in the same area has you jumping on frogs. The game changes itself around enough to keep itself interesting, but the lack of a real goal showing up even half-way through the game has me unlikely to finish it. Some characters aren't satisfied with just one request, they keep ringing you back. Solve your own problems!

So while the game itself has no real motivating factors or reasons to play it, the game does manage to not suck or be boring. Even on missions where the stiff platform-based manoeuvring is truly frustrating, the game doesn't have any of those rage-quit moments that make you turn the console off in disgust. There was a level with towers and staircases I kept falling off from, but I still managed to refrain from pushing that power button.

The graphics are adorable. Everything is so simple, low-poly and cute. The primitive graphics may have looked a bit too simple back in '99 when developers were beginning to make photorealistic games that pushed the PlayStation to its limits, but something has to be said in favour of the incredibly appealing art style of Robbit Mon Dieu. The soundtrack is bouncy and cheerful, though nothing immediately special. The result is that you enter the world of Robbit Mon Dieu and don't really want to leave. If only there was a real motive to stay there.

Despite being heavy with Japanese text, the game is easy enough to figure out. One mission had me particularly stumped, because I understood all I had to do was break open holes in the ground, I just couldn't figure out how. Eventually I did manage it, and that was pretty much the only obstacle I faced. That's not to say the game will be easy all the way through, I can't make that call just yet, but I haven't had much trouble so far.

If I felt there was any genuine reason to continue playing, I would. But as it stands, I already do enough chores at home or at work (and I get paid for them in experience and thanks). Why should I equip myself with a giant robotic rabbit suit and do chores for free? For characters who don't really seem to be all that gracious towards me for my time and effort?