So what is this Katamari malarky anyhow? Well, for those of you unfamiliar with the concept, here's a basic rundown of the series thus far. The Katamari games come straight outta Japan and reek of genuine 0% American charm. You are given a variety of missions by the great King of All Cosmos, a foolhardy and confusing master with a large brick-shaped head and a crotch that should be aimed away from the face. All of his missions require you, the diminuitive Prince, to roll around a katamari (a sticky ball that can pick up things when you roll over them), generally within a limited amount of time, to meet a certain criterion. Typically, it's to roll up enough stuff that's laying around within your environment to meet a certain size requirement (and believe me, they can get pretty big... how does over 1,500,000km in diameter sound?), but there are also missions with more concrete objectives, such as rolling up as much as possible to fuel your toasty katamari to reach 10,000°C (not as hot as it sounds, no pun intended). Perhaps you have to roll a big enough snowball katamari to place upon a snowman. Admittedly, the simplistic missions with the modest "make it a certain size" requirements are much more fun. You just go about your merry way and roll up all the alarm clocks, sushi rolls, and punk teenagers with frontwardly pointy haircuts as you can. Of course, before you can roll things up, you must be a certain overbearing size first. Don't expect to start rolling up buildings with a 10cm ball. Nothing is THAT sticky. If you succeed in your mission, the King will turn your little ball into a star or planet to help repopulate the Cosmos with wonderful specks of awesomeness. You also get a score out of 100. I'm not sure how the scores are determined, but clearly some stages' scoring equations are far more lenient than others. It feels rather arbitrary, but then again, so is this game. Do well, and you receive some praise (hopefully). Fail, and... well... you'll be sorry.

All is not well in the Cosmos. It turns out that the King of All Cosmos has been hit in the head and is suffering from a terrible spell of amnesia. So he's basically forgotten about all your past escapades, as well as how to run a kingdom and make buttermilk flapjacks. To bunker down the ruling duties in his absence, the people of whatever planet the King seems to reside in built a replica in His image: the RoboKing. It's not perfect -- looks quite hideous and has frequent sexually-suggestive oil leaks and utterly dysfunctional dialogue -- but it is a leader nonetheless. In the game, you end up hopping back and forth between the King's missions (to get back lost memories by playing old missions from previous games again) and the RoboKing's desires (new stages in which you must add colour to the now bleak world that the King forgot -- yup, colour seems to be gone in his mind). So it's really not a new game. More of a half-game. But it's all very strange. Very strange indeed.

The controls are mostly the same as before. While rolling around in the stages, there is little need for too many buttons. You use both of your analog sticks to roll forward, backward, and turn. The L1 and R1 controls your camera to switch between the first- and third-person perspectives. And they were "kind" enough to add a new feature: the ability to perform a Prince Hop. Finally, we have a jumping option if need be. It's useful for getting out of tight situations and is controlled via either the R2 button or by quickly flicking your controller. However useful the Prince Hop is, I have a couple of complaints. Firstly, flicking the controller is often unresponsive, or worse yet, it acts up when I am particularly active while playing. You know those people who move the controller all around while playing an old Mario game, even though it won't help at all? That's me and Katamari Forever. The R2 button would have sufficed. Secondly, even when you jump, it's hard to control yourself, and you often end up flying straight up for no purpose, or flying way-y-y-y-y off course. Swell. Considering it's a timed game, I have no patience for stupid moves. In addition to the new move, life gets a tad easier when you find a spinning heart, scattered randomly amongst the stages. Roll it up, and your katamari becomes a temporary magnet for items around you. It's an easy way to get bigger. Thanks, Katamari Cialis.

There are four modes that stages can be played in (although not all four are always applicable). First and foremost is Katamari Forever, which one could consider as "normal mode". The rest are unlocked: "Eternal" (which sounds as though it should be called "Katamari Forever", but isn't), in which you can just keep rolling with no time limit until you are sick and tired of playing around. "Classic Katamari" has a more 3D-ish look, in full colour, and is exactly what it sounds like. Your katamari rolls a bit more slowly this time, so the King or RoboKing offers a more lenient goal. Lastly is the absolutely insane "Katamari Drive", where your katamari essentially seems to have its own motor inside and goes about at a much much faster speed. This was particularly daunting in the Race level, where your katamari already moves by itself... now it's extremely fast -- I found myself bouncing off pretty much everything in a gargantuan panic. Whoa.

In addition, there are several extras that can keep you entertained when you're not rolling. Throughout all the stages, you'll pick up presents and cousins in your rolling travels. You can switch places and play as these variously-shaped cousins, or use the presents to decorate your little fella. I put my guy on a horsey! As well, everything you pick up is nicely catalogued amongst your Katamari Collection. Be sure to check out their extensive encyclopedia of all the items you snag, categorized with descriptions of every object. This allowed me to learn why strawberries are red: they blush because their butts are pointing upward. Well, I'll be darned. You can also later unlock additional mini-games that bear a more arcade style but still involve the art of katamariism. And let's not forget multiplayer rolling! Bring a friend over to see if they can get a bigger katamari than you. After you teach them a valuable lesson in futility, you can stand up, wave your fanny in their face, and then sit back down because it's rude to gloat. *ahem*

The graphics have taken a bit of a left turn. Katamari Forever now offers filters to alter the appearance of the playing field, such as wood and comic-book style. I would take them or leave them, personally, but overall, the visuals have not shown significant improvement over the PlayStation 2 games... and there is still slowdown! However, the Katamari series has been discussed more frequently for its quirky and generally electronic soundtracks (a departure from typical game soundtracks), and this game bears nothing different. The music featured here is comprised of a mix of original tunes and remixed versions of classic tracks from previous games. It's all well and good, but it lacks the pep of the original Katamari Damacy. However, most items you pick up come with adjoining sound effects, and that keeps the auditory channels fresh!