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CONSOLE: Nintendo Switch DEVELOPER: Bergsala-Lightweight PUBLISHER: Rising Star Games
RELEASE DATE (NA): April 24, 2018 GENRE: Racing
// review by EscapeRouteBritish

Kruising straight into the bin.

This absolutely has to be the cheapest feeling knock-off of a kart racer I've ever laid my hands on, which is quite the claim considering I've played Garfield Kart. The absolute lack of polish and care is absolutely astounding. I understand the rush developers had to push out titles onto the Nintendo Switch for a quick buck, but this obvious Unity engine tutorial dressed up as a Hello Kitty game is assuredly the most vapid and soulless thing I have played on my Nintendo Switch yet.

Expressionless Sanrio characters pace around treacle-coated race tracks. Their vehicles peter around 10cc with awful handling, certainly breaking no land, sea, or air records, that's for sure. The items you can use are trash — launched cakes float above enemy racers, while road cones are useless in the air.

You can play a single race by picking Quick Play. You can also select Tournament to play a threadbare Grand Prix mode. Play the same tracks in different vehicles — planes, hovercrafts, and cars — and compete against computer opponents who drive into walls and spam slow-down powerups.

Scooped from the litterbox.

The "Adventure" mode is anything but. The name evokes imagery of the finest parts of Diddy Kong Racing and Crash Team Racing — driving around a hub world completing missions, minigames and racing well enough to defeat some major antagonist. Hello Kitty Kruisers, on the other hand, believes "Adventure" to mean a list of 20 small challenges. That's it. No cutscenes, no text dump, and no real incentive to play outside of a slow trickle of unlocks.

Boring garbage. Hello Kitty doesn't deserve this. For a Switch racer with polish, pick up Mario Kart 8 Deluxe or All-Star Fruit Racing. Avoid this like the plague.

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