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CONSOLE: Famicom DEVELOPER: Shimada Kikaku PUBLISHER: Character Soft
RELEASE DATE (JP): December 11, 1992 GENRE: Platformer
// review by SoyBomb

This won't take long.

Obviously, this game is based on the Hello Kitty franchise, and it shows. There is about as much challenge here as there is sitting in an old lawn chair: takes about half a minute to finally settle down into the thing, and then once you finally get comfortable, you discover there's a twig in your bikini shorts.

You play the role of Kitty, and your duty is to make every flower in the land grow. 'Tis a noble quest, prettying up the world, one flower at a time, and perhaps it is a lofty one, knowing how many gardens exist in the world today. Luckily, for Hello Kitty, the world is very small and she can probably take care of the situation in about an hour.

With a watering can in tow, Kitty goes through 18 stages, trying to water all the potted plants conveniently strewn about to make a tall flower grow out of each of them. By holding Down, Kitty will release water from her can to cause a sprout to grow. But you have to keep watering it until a full impressively-surprised flower pops out. Isn't that a grand central theme for a video game? Oh, Kitty.

If it wasn't for Kitty's absolutely adorable flat feet, I wouldn't give this a second look.

Sounds pretty simple, eh? For the most part, it IS simple — perhaps TOO simple. The only major obstacles that really get in your way are moving platforms (yikes!) and some foes that are nothing to scoff at, although feel free to do all the scoffing you wish against these little creatures: snails, small squirrels, and those pesky bouncing beach balls. Okay, who forgot to put their beach ball on a leash?! That's it: six months in the hoosgow! (Did I spell that correctly?) Luckily, Kitty has a secret weapon: a wooden mallet! Kitty isn't so harmless now, is she? Within those pleasant whiskers and those adorable flat feet flows the blood of a cold-hearted killer!

Okay, not really. She just temporarily stuns enemies. We can't have violence in a Sanrio game. That would be unreal. That being said, if you grow a flower and a strawberry pops out, you can become invincible and knock out anything that gets in your way. Oh, Kitty.

At least the game is cute, even if it's painfully plain for a game from 1992. One cannot say no to the ever-powerful warming glow of Kitty. Also, every part of this world in which she lives is coated with wallpaper. Where even IS this? Are there lands out there coated in polka dots and dull fish design? If there is, I'm packing my bags! (There IS a place like that, actually. It's called a wallpaper store.)

So I've basically described the game. Does it ever get difficult? No. Does it ever get particularly exciting? Not really. Did it make me love Hello Kitty more? Not at all. Maybe it caused me to love her a little less. It's a Hello Kitty game; it was designed primarily for kids, not for adults with fetishes for flat-footed felines. Yet as a reviewer, it just didn't pop for me. Perhaps that's because it can be completed in under an hour on the first try... with minimal effort... while fending off wild miniature squirrels. Oh, Kitty.

Kitty Carlisle.

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