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// article by SoyBomb

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Transexuals are about to be deeply offended, as are most other individuals, if they decide to play Tranny Tramps: The Family Jewels. This hack of Double Dragon III: The Rosetta Stone does its very best to be as offensive to transexuals, homosexuals, and pretty much anybody who doesn't fall in either group. You star as Filly -- formerly Billy -- who has transformed himself into a cross-dressing transvestite. (Yes, there's her brother, Jammy, as well, if you are playing a two-player game, though I challenge you to find anyone to join you in this sad quest.) Her yearning to be fully female is in the forefront of her mind, and thus they employ the wisdom of Oldfag, who informs them that the Ancient 2-Peckered Sex God has had his testicles stolen. If Filly can find those missing pieces, she can truly become a woman.

This is terrible. It's basically one person's basement quest to discourage diversity, and it's rather unfortunate that hacks such as this exist.

As a reasonable person might expect, the graphics have been altered to reflect Billy's new interest in womanhood. Some enemies remain the same while others have been severely changed; Filly must now battle against large naked women with erect male genitalia, shorter naked women with erect male genitalia, and creepy (but clothed) battlers imported from River City Ransom. And you can expect the occasional background change, with some posters now sporting more sexually-charged slogans. They does not motivate the employees.

Any instance of dialogue has been horribly slaughtered and replaced with consistently sexually offensive content, usually about transexuals or homosexuals. Occasionally, the old mentor, Oldfag, will actually show up with words of encouragement about your quest to become a full-fledged member of Womanhood Inc., but more often than not, you get talk about where to put certain... things... or how changing genders has ruined the lives of some. Tranny Tramps is not the place for tolerance, obviously.

Plus the game's as difficult as possible, just as the original Double Dragon III was. Any enemy has the ability to beat you to a pulp if you're not careful. That's just part of the notoriety behind Double Dragon III, though, so blame the original developers, not the hacker. Who is the hacker, anyway? Apparently, someone named "Jomb", according to the copyright page. Then again, it's licensed to "Ashamed Entertainment". Well, at least they got that last part somewhat right. Acclaim put out some rancid stuff. The game provides some terrible slaughter on the ears, too. Whoever thought it was a great idea to replace the original music with a spliced version featuring random notes at random intervals should not have the right to access a computer any longer. This is grating, and I am very annoyed. This whole thing shouldn't be.

To make your day even worse, here are some screenshots to keep you motivated enough to steer clear of this monstrosity:


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