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// article by SoyBomb

Is this game any good? Now THAT'S debatable.

There was once a legendary warrior who roamed the plains and mountainsides, slicing through any diabolical creature that dared step within his path with the ultimate quest of defeating the Dragonlord and bringing peace to the hearts of the world's meek. Yet after wandering through grasslands, slaying every renegade slimes, the knight of legend suddenly stopped in his tracks. He began to question the nature of his own existence and purpose. Why is he out here seeking vengeance on species that have done no wrong unto him? Why is he not questing for knowledge rather than bloodshed? And with that idea firmly planted in his head, a new journey began, one based on re-examining the world around him, looking for answers, and giving the citizens of every town a new perspective on life and the world of concepts beyond their average ways of thinking. He became... Debate Dude!

Actually, it's just a Dragon Warrior hack, but with a completely altered script meant to sound far more intelligent. The game is now simultaneously intellectual and absurdist, as characters now speak as though they are far more self-important than ever before. The menu commands have been altered entirely to the point where only those familiar with the Dragon Warrior command menu layout would be able to figure out what command does what. Speaking to others is now called "JAW!", which makes me think some oral surgery may be involved. Your status is now "MYSELF", which is a bit more straightforward. But options such as "BLIND", "OPE", and "CHANT" may not be as self-explanatory. Hit Points and Magic Points are now "PP" and "ZP" respectively, and I couldn't begin to tell you what they stand for. Once in battle, you have even more strange options such as "DISSUADE" for attacking, and a command simply written as an asterisk. Isn't that just a fine how-do-you-do? So instead of brawling with slimes, you're just debating with them; when a slime does damage to your character, we are told he is retorting. Drole, young warrior, drole! When you die, the game says "Guitar Riff...", and your demise is now scribed in an elegy.

Sadly, the human jabs are just as painful as those of monsters. Townspeople are far more unpleasant. The innkeeper, for example, does not wish you ever see you again and tells you to get lost. Now I'm no professional businessperson... *tugs on his suspenders with his thumbs* ...but I'd say that's a mighty poor way of doin' business! I reckon he ought to reconsider his attitude! Another townsperson says, "Once thou hast spoken to people, they shall probably condescendingly repeat themselves." Well, if he is right, then the world is full of condescending individuals. Even the game itself is patronizing. When you find the first tablet, for example, the game says you have to re-read sections of it many times because you have poor memory and possess substandard literacy skills. I think the creator is rather embittered, this "Dustin Pegar"! Then again, his name is merely an anagram for "drug sapient", which may explain much. (It is also an anagram for "grape nudist", which could speak additional volumes.)

Let us bask in the glow of gab with some screenshots:

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