Top 5 Things I Learned In Montreal // random.access

Top 5 Things I Learned In Montreal
(Les cinq choses que j'ai appris à Montréal)

// article by Beverley

When it comes to Canada and the United States, there isn't really that much different between us. We both love the same garbage pop media, we're both obsessed with American politics, and our governments are both controlled by the same faceless multinational corporations. The differences between us, such as the spelling of words like "colour" and "theatre", an inclination toward socialism, and a delicious dish of French fries with cheese and gravy, are miniscule. But America's little sibling does have one ace up its sleeve when it come to differentiating itself, and that's Quebec. Quebec, our Francophone province, is one of the few reminders that Canada does have some of its own personality, so when I finally got a chance to visit Montreal for the weekend, I felt like I was finally getting an opportunity to learn what makes Canada unique. Here are five facts I was surprised to learn about Montrealeurs during my anthropological expedition.

1. No one will think you are a jerk for trying to speak French.

For more than a decade I have watched the Just For Laughs Comedy Festival on TV, and a perennial trope that has recurred in all the televised stand-up gigs, more overused than jokes about airplane food or married life, is the joke that Montrealeurs hate incompetent Anglos (English-speaking people) bastardizing their language and having the gall (or perhaps, Gaul, rather) to ask for a cup of coffee in their Franglais. As I climbed off the bus at Bonaventure station, I thought for sure this would be one rule I would have to obey: don't be rude and try to speak a language you barely know. I was actually surprised to find people were very polite and didn't mind at all if you tried to speak French. Apparently it is not very common for Ontarian visitors to be able to speak French, and so Montrealeurs often speak English out of courtesy, which is very convenient, but perhaps too convenient for someone who is excited to practice the language. There are actually many Anglos in Montreal, so it is very easy for someone with no understanding of French to visit the city.

2. People love ice skating.

Another thing I learned is that Montrealeurs are crazy about ice skating. Everywhere you go—parks, university campuses, shopping malls—you see ice rinks and the folks who enjoy them! Most people are really good skaters, and it seems like the idea of playing some hockey between classes is just as normal as hitting up the gym.

3. People have way more exotic hair.

One thing which I did not expect at all was the incredible variety of hairdos in Montreal. Not only does one see wild hair colours like blue, green, and pink, or Mohawks or dreadlocks, but even mullets. I know there is a stereotype about French-Canadian hockey players having mullets, but it's not just jocks or rednecks who wear them. It's also common for business people and academics.

4. If you like red beer, order a "redhead" beer.

Of course I couldn't go to Montreal without enjoying a little nightlife. I ended up going to a very political little cafe that served nice homemade food, coffee and beer. It's no surprise that Quebecers are more politically active than Ontarians, so going to a fair trade organic cafe like this one was no surprise, but ordering a beer ended up being a bit more difficult. If you want to order a red beer, you say you want a "bière rousse", which means "a redhead beer" (not to be confused with a ginger ale, I guess). I was a bit confused because I thought the sign said "bier russe" which means "Russian beer" but this article clarifies the etymological connection. Also useful to note is that if you want beer from the tap, the phrase is "au fut" (from the keg). In my research I was unable to find a word for "kegger" that Montrealeurs are familiar with.

5. Mac's Milk is called "Couche-Tard".

Quebecers love to stay out late and have a good time, and they also love to sleep in, which is why in Quebec Mac's Milk is called "Couche-Tard" literally "sleep late". Quebec convenience stores (also called "depanneurs" or "deps" for short) don't close until after midnight and open later in the day. Finally the owl logo, the perfect symbol of the nocturnal life, makes sense! You might see other businesses which look the exact same as their Ontarian counterparts but with French names, such as Pharmaprix.

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