Top 10 Unaccepted Game Show Ideas // random.access

Top 10 Unaccepted Game Show Ideas

// article by Jeff

Game shows have always been popular from the early days of To Tell The Truth and Concentration to the more modern ways of Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy. But for every one beloved game show on the air, there are probably thousands that never make it past the drawing board. Here are the Top 10 unaccepted game show ideas... and they were unaccepted for good reasons.

10. Give Stuff Back To The Network

Typically, winners of game shows obtain fabulous prizes, be they monetary or something a bit more material, such as a brand new Sedan or a washer and dryer that will break down and foam up the moment it leaves the lot. But don't you just feel that they don't deserve it? After all, they just pick random people who could point out the studio on a map and have them guess letters in the alphabet or figure out how much a canister of coffee costs. So that's where "Give Stuff Back To The Network" comes in, specifically for cynical jerks like me who want happy people who got something for nothing to get their comeuppance. Basically, contestants from old game shows come back to fight for their right to keep what they won and the losers have to give back the stuff they won a long time ago. That'll teach them to think they're more financially secure because they won an oversized cellular phone in 1992.

9. Makes Scents To Me

Want to win some easy money? Then why not try getting an elusive position on the dais at "Makes Scents To Me"? Basically, you get to stick your nose in a test tube infused with a specific smell, and the more smells you get correct in the game, the better chance you have of winning more sweet cash. But don't think even for a second that you only get good scents. When the ripply backwind of a 1600-pound man or fermenting yak butter slide up your tube, you'll wish you had tried out for another game show.

8. Mounting For Dollars

I can tell bad taste when I see it; this is it. Mounting For Dollars is exactly what it sounds like: there are various animals in a pasture, and you win money by successfully mounting them without taking any physical damage or being thrown a fair distance by those fauna who opt not to participate. Extra bucks could float into your wallet when you have to struggle with the larger fauna. Taking on a llama is harder than it looks, but eventually, even he will cave to your greedy whims.

7. Kids Slay The Darndest Things

Bill Cosby almost had it right. He thought that asking kids really mundane questions and getting cute but idiotic responses would be the best thing to hit television since Lucille Ball made that squishy face. But he was wrong. Dead wrong. The best thing is giving small children really sharp swords and letting them run free and cause as much havoc as possible. The child with the most choppings wins a free Spongebob Squarepants comforter set. Ummm...he's still popular, right?

6. Be With Flo For Dough

It seems like all the best game shows are for money only, and this one is clearly no different. In this show, particularly cool people are placed in one of the most devastating situations known to man: in an afternoon date with Aunt Flo, where contestants are forced to endure hard candy, photos of loved ones from the 1930s, and enjoying a twinge-enducing harp medley. The longer they last without lipping off, choking on the candy, or trying to duck out through the fire escape, the more money they win. The fun part is that Aunt Flo is, unbeknownst to the contestant, actually an actor, usually Jim Gaffigan in a dress.

5. Family Is Food

Most people -- to some degree or another -- love their family. But the question on everyone's mind is whether they would love them. For dinner, that is! Are you willing to gnaw on Grandmawmaw for a Buick? Ever want to take a bite out of your stepfather so you can finally get that year's supply of salty soup you've been aching for? The opportunity is now here to release your inner Hannibal and satisfy any signs of matriarchal munchies. And even if you don't win the game, at least you had a night out and a wonderful dinner. The network will supply the barbeque sauce.

4. Tickle the Corpse of a Celebrity from the 1940s for $26.43

That is as direct of a title as you can find. Game show producers may have sunk so low as to want to dig up old celebrities just for the sake of some tickling for money. I don't fully understand the premise or the reasoning behind this one, but I can bet one thing for certain: Clark Gable would much rather be laying in a chilly coffin underground than letting a family from Wisconsin fiddle with his post-mortem knobs. That's a fact you can take to the bank.

3. Flap Wars

Be sure to bring your splatterguard if you are planning on joining the audience of "Flap Wars", because there's going to be some unnatural syrups being flung about here. We take overly cheerful citizens, strap them in protective gear, and just let them duke it out, using only a heavy-duty pancake for defense. Watch as someone loses an eye because of a sharp jab to the skull by a hardened chunk of Bisquick! It's fun for the whole family to stare at with inexplicable amazement. I won't say what the winner gets, but it's likely delicious.

2. Bust-A-Moose

In this show, you don't get to just bust a move, you also get to bust a moose! That's right: it's a combination of dancing to the nation's hottest grooves and whacking moose with a billy club. The country can vote on who has the slickest moves/fwakking abilities. Someone was really, really, REALLY out of their element when they thought this up. Perhaps the creators should have spent more time focused on the design process rather than the Kung Pao chicken they were eating that night.

1. What Will Fit In There?

Keep your mouth shut while some goon who is in dire need of a free ride out of bankruptcy opens his mouth and allows strange things to be inserted by any means necessary. They would start with small, simple objects such as raisins, hairballs, and pen caps. But trust me: when you get into larger objects, such as cucumbers, watermelons, and discarded bureaus, that's when you definitely can't peel your eyes off the television set. It's just that awesome. Or just that immoral and ungodly. You decide!

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