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Dreadful Script Edition
Page 2
BITS AND BYTES
STARRING: Mega Man, Bomb Man, Cut Man, Elec Man, Fire Man, Guts Man, Ice Man, Snake Man
Mega Man finds himself standing by a large metal gate, owned by a metal mountain.
MEGA MAN: | Awww. I come to fight those robot guys, and they locked me out! |
??? #1: | Oh... we'll open it for ya. |
??? #2: | Yeah, let's open the gate right now! Hey, Ice Man, get your head outta that parka and open the gate for our little buddy! |
??? #3: | All right, all right! Don't get your collar in a knot. |
MEGA MAN: | Thanks! Gee, they're sure swell guys. |
Mega Man rushes into the mountain. The door slams behind him.
MEGA MAN: | Something doesn't feel right. |
??? #1: | Yeah, your LEFT HAND!!! *laughs hysterically* |
??? #2: | Shut up! Remember what happened the last time you laughed too much? You and your cheap bombs exploded! Nearly killed us all, it did! |
MEGA MAN: | I knew something was out of place. |
??? #1: | Yeah, YOU, helmethead!!! *laughs hysterically* |
??? #2: | Didn't I tell you to shut up? How stupid are you? |
Cut Man comes out of the darkness to greet Mega Man.
CUT MAN: | Hello. Come with us, so you can meet us! |
MEGA MAN: | I don't know about this. I mean, I keep hearing strange voices and there's a funny smell in here and all. M-maybe I should leave. |
CUT MAN: | No. You cannot leave! You MUST come with me. It's mandatory. Come. |
Cut Man snatches Mega Man by the Arm Cannon and takes him to the lair where all the robots are working.
ICE MAN: | Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy! A visitor! Let's bake him a cake! |
BOMB MAN | Yeah! With... ...with CANDLES ON TOP!!!! *laughs hysterically* |
Guts Man conks Bomb Man on the head.
GUTS MAN: | That'll teach you, ya clankerin' gutwad! |
BOMB MAN: | Gutward? I think... I think that's YOUR department! *laughs hysterically* |
MEGA MAN: | I don't want to be a burden on your fellas. I'll just, uh, let you be. |
ELEC MAN: | NO! NOT BEFORE YOU DIE!!!!! |
Mega Man zaps Elec Man into 68,581 pieces with his Arm Cannon.
FIRE MAN: | I give that one a perfect 10! |
MEGA MAN: | Hey, I think I know what's going on here! Y-you're working for Dr. Wily! |
FIRE MAN: | How long did it take you to figure THAT out? I mean, our names are on the box. |
CUT MAN: | Yeah, I thought you were smart as a whip, MegaDork! I guess I was wrong... |
MEGA MAN: | Well, I, uh, I, er... |
Suddenly, Ice Man accidentally falls on the control panel! Everything goes fuzzy for all the robots, including Mega Man.
GUTS MAN: | Hey, Frozenbreath, you're such a clod! You fell on the... the Bit Changer! |
ICE MAN: | What is the name of Polar Pete is a Bit Changer? |
FIRE MAN: | It means that we're about to become... ...16-BIT CHARACTERS on the NES!!! |
BOMB MAN: | All the NES things will get screwed up! *laughs hysterically* That is so-- OH! I feel strange... I'm going 16-bit... AYE!!!!!! |
ELEC MAN: | Aye! I'm alive again... ...and going 16-bit! AYE! |
Mega Man, Bomb Man, Cut Man, Elec Man, Fire Man, Guts Man, and Ice Man go from 8-bit characters to 16-bit characters.
16-BIT ELEC MAN: | Whoa! Intense! |
16-BIT FIRE MAN: | Definitely! I feel so alive with vigor! |
16-BIT ICE MAN: | Wish I had an ice cream sandwich! A 64-bit sandwich! Heh heh. |
16-BIT BOMB MAN: | Jokes? How can you joke? It's so... oh, I can't hold it any longer... *laughs superhysterically* |
16-BIT GUTS MAN: | Shut up. |
Snake Man rushes in.
SNAKE MAN: | I heard an alarm and-- |
Snake Man goes 16-bit, just like everyone else.
16-BIT SNAKE MAN: | Oy! I got get outta here before I die of bit-ication! Oy! |
Snake Man runs out of the mountain in a mad craze.
16-BIT MEGA MAN: | Well, I'd better go, and... HEY, I'm supposed to be KILLING you guys! |
16-BIT CUT MAN: | Hey, you're right. |
Mega Man shots Bomb Man, Cut Man, Elec Man, Fire Man, Guts Man, and Ice Man.
16-BIT MEGA MAN: | Oh, well now that THAT'S over, I can go home. OH NO! I've got the munchies! Aaaaaaaaah! |
THE END
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