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Dreadful Script Edition

Page 2

BITS AND BYTES

STARRING: Mega Man, Bomb Man, Cut Man, Elec Man, Fire Man, Guts Man, Ice Man, Snake Man

Mega Man finds himself standing by a large metal gate, owned by a metal mountain.

MEGA MAN:Awww. I come to fight those robot guys, and they locked me out!
??? #1:Oh... we'll open it for ya.
??? #2:Yeah, let's open the gate right now! Hey, Ice Man, get your head outta that parka and open the gate for our little buddy!
??? #3:All right, all right! Don't get your collar in a knot.
MEGA MAN:Thanks! Gee, they're sure swell guys.

Mega Man rushes into the mountain. The door slams behind him.

MEGA MAN:Something doesn't feel right.
??? #1:Yeah, your LEFT HAND!!! *laughs hysterically*
??? #2:Shut up! Remember what happened the last time you laughed too much? You and your cheap bombs exploded! Nearly killed us all, it did!
MEGA MAN:I knew something was out of place.
??? #1:Yeah, YOU, helmethead!!! *laughs hysterically*
??? #2:Didn't I tell you to shut up? How stupid are you?

Cut Man comes out of the darkness to greet Mega Man.

CUT MAN:Hello. Come with us, so you can meet us!
MEGA MAN:I don't know about this. I mean, I keep hearing strange voices and there's a funny smell in here and all. M-maybe I should leave.
CUT MAN:No. You cannot leave! You MUST come with me. It's mandatory. Come.

Cut Man snatches Mega Man by the Arm Cannon and takes him to the lair where all the robots are working.

ICE MAN:Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy! A visitor! Let's bake him a cake!
BOMB MANYeah! With... ...with CANDLES ON TOP!!!! *laughs hysterically*

Guts Man conks Bomb Man on the head.

GUTS MAN:That'll teach you, ya clankerin' gutwad!
BOMB MAN:Gutward? I think... I think that's YOUR department! *laughs hysterically*
MEGA MAN:I don't want to be a burden on your fellas. I'll just, uh, let you be.
ELEC MAN:NO! NOT BEFORE YOU DIE!!!!!

Mega Man zaps Elec Man into 68,581 pieces with his Arm Cannon.

FIRE MAN:I give that one a perfect 10!
MEGA MAN:Hey, I think I know what's going on here! Y-you're working for Dr. Wily!
FIRE MAN:How long did it take you to figure THAT out? I mean, our names are on the box.
CUT MAN:Yeah, I thought you were smart as a whip, MegaDork! I guess I was wrong...
MEGA MAN:Well, I, uh, I, er...

Suddenly, Ice Man accidentally falls on the control panel! Everything goes fuzzy for all the robots, including Mega Man.

GUTS MAN:Hey, Frozenbreath, you're such a clod! You fell on the... the Bit Changer!
ICE MAN:What is the name of Polar Pete is a Bit Changer?
FIRE MAN:It means that we're about to become...  ...16-BIT CHARACTERS on the NES!!!
BOMB MAN:All the NES things will get screwed up! *laughs hysterically* That is so-- OH! I feel strange... I'm going 16-bit... AYE!!!!!!
ELEC MAN:Aye! I'm alive again... ...and going 16-bit! AYE!

Mega Man, Bomb Man, Cut Man, Elec Man, Fire Man, Guts Man, and Ice Man go from 8-bit characters to 16-bit characters.

16-BIT ELEC MAN:Whoa! Intense!
16-BIT FIRE MAN:Definitely! I feel so alive with vigor!
16-BIT ICE MAN:Wish I had an ice cream sandwich! A 64-bit sandwich! Heh heh.
16-BIT BOMB MAN:Jokes? How can you joke? It's so... oh, I can't hold it any longer... *laughs superhysterically*
16-BIT GUTS MAN:Shut up.

Snake Man rushes in.

SNAKE MAN:I heard an alarm and--

Snake Man goes 16-bit, just like everyone else.

16-BIT SNAKE MAN:Oy! I got get outta here before I die of bit-ication! Oy!

Snake Man runs out of the mountain in a mad craze.

16-BIT MEGA MAN:Well, I'd better go, and... HEY, I'm supposed to be KILLING you guys!
16-BIT CUT MAN:Hey, you're right.

Mega Man shots Bomb Man, Cut Man, Elec Man, Fire Man, Guts Man, and Ice Man.

16-BIT MEGA MAN:Oh, well now that THAT'S over, I can go home. OH NO! I've got the munchies! Aaaaaaaaah!

THE END

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