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Bunk Bio Edition

Page 1

BILLY LEE:
(Double Dragon)
Full Name: William Kenneth Lee

Race: Human

Gender: Male

Age: 42

Birthdate: May 24, 1966

Aliases: Player 1, Fu Dude, Pip, The Target

Games Appeared in: Double Dragon, Double Dragon II, Double Dragon III, Return of Double Dragon, Double Dragon V, Battletoads/Double Dragon: The Ultimate Team

Favourite Food: Knuckle Sandwich

Apparel: blue karate suit

Marital Status: Unmarried (too busy kickin' butt to really care)

Normal Status: Alive (currently in hospital for appendix removal)

Role in Life: Kung-Fu-er, Shadow Boss-killer, karate-teacher (on occasion)

Favorite Quote: "Don't take her!"

Hidden Shames: Having a geek like Jimmy for a brother, had a bad knee for kicking in Return of Double Dragon

Basic Facts:
- knows martial arts (black belt)
-enemy of the Shadow Warriors
-gets his way over Jimmy's
-always kicks some enemy off their turf

Life Story: Billy was born in New York City one cold January morning. His mother, Janice Lee, had waited so long for this little bundle of joy, and now he had finally come. However, his life story would be short, for his life was a boring piece, and was not REALLY movie material. He walked, he talked, his favourite colour was blue, he went to school, and got mostly A's (except a B in Drama Skills - he wasn't a big actor). In 1973, his brother Jimmy was born (but THAT'S not important now, is it?). And every now and again, Slasher, the school bully, beat him up. Life was average.

The school bully really made Billy angry when he stole his lunch money, so he asked his parents if he could try out Kung Fu. His dad said, "Sorry, son, but that NES game won't be out for another 12 years, but feel free to try the real thing." So, after that, he worked and worked, harder and harder, until finally, two years later, he retrieved his black belt. During this time, no one at school knew he was training. Not even Slasher. The next day after he got his black belt, he started running around outside, when who pushed him over, but the bully. "I'm not scared of you anymore." Billy replied as he stood up and brushed off the dirt from his corduroy pants. With that, he tested his Kung Fu action on Slasher, and won the battle. No longer did Slasher bother him again. He was admired by all.

One day, while playing basketball in his backyard, he saw a blinding light, and suddenly, a big burly tattoed man with a large muscular chest and bulging arms came up to him, and slammed him to the ground. "Yo, fool, we takin' over this town!" he grunted, waddling back and forth. "We hear you da black belt guy! You gonna try and stop us... ...fool?" When Billy was called 'FOOL', he found the courage to reply, "Yes, I think I will." The rest is found in video game cartridges. Along the way of his life, more bad Kung Fu dudes came along, and when he's on vacation, he gets out the ol' NES, and plays his favourite game, Adventure Island III. That Master Higgins never gets a break.


BOMBERMAN: Full Name: Bomberman

Race: Android

Gender: Male

Age: 27

Birthdate: May 4, 1974

Aliases: Bomber King, The Great Blast Kid

Games Appeared in: Bomberman, Bomberman II, Super Bomberman, Super Bomberman 2, Super Bomberman 3, Super Bomberman 4, Super Bomberman 5, Bomberman '93, Bomberman '94, Saturn Bomberman Fight!!, Bomberman B-Daman, Bomberman B-Daman 2, Saturn Bomberman, Neo Bomberman, Mega Bomberman, Bomberman GB, Pocket Bomberman, Bomberman Quest, Bomberman Max Red, Bomberman Max Blue, Bomberman Max: Dark Soldier, Bomberman Max: Hero of Light, Bomberman Wars, Bomberman Tournament, Bomberman 64, Bomberman 64: The Second Attack, Bomberman Hero, Super Bomberman Panic Bomber World, Atomic Bomberman, Bomberman Online, Wario Blast Featuring Bomberman, Bomberman Fantasy Race, Bomberman Land, Bomberman Wars, Bomberman Party Edition, Bomberman World, Bomberman 2001, Bomberman Kart, Bomberman: Panic Bomber, Bomberman Max 2, Bomberman Generation

Apparel: white round suit with pink balls for hands and a purple solar orb on his head

Favourite Food: N/A ... he's a robot

Marital Status: Single

Normal Status: Functional

Role in Life: to save the world from evil overlords by way of bombing them

Favorite Quote: "Ka-BOOM!"

Hidden Shames: He once accidentally bombed a microwave.

Life Story: The world had finally put aside its ethnic differences and its racial barriers and had become one unit of life. Yet all was not well. Humans were no longer capable of survival from the attacks of outer spacial beings, dubbed the title "aliens". In this grave time when evil races from above lurked across a darkened sky, they had to build androids which would protect them. Many of these androids backfired and could not be used to defend the Earth. In fact, only one was bug-free and ready for action. He was built with the ability to mass-produce and set bombs at a fast speed. These bombs would quickly do away with any surrounding blockades or foes. He was given the name "Bomberman", and was commanded to stop any oppositions from beyond the moon.

Bomberman was also given the ability to think with his own artificial mind, but in the same manner has the humans did. He became an official citizen of Earth, and through successive offensive and defensive actions against the alien intruder hordes, was donned a high title in the governmental society. As the new Commander-in-Chief of the world defense branch, Bomberman's prime duty was to solve any interspacial disputes, either through negotiations or, if such as not a plausible option, through brute bomb force!

On occasion, Bomberman dissipates from his usual desk demands or duel duties and works some of the more menial jobs that come with keeping the Earth a safer place. One particular errand that he enjoys doing is driving the prison train along, with the various species of life in the back cars, and Bomberman in the cockpit. He has also allowed a small Japanese company known as "Hudson Soft" to document his various battles with the universe's nastiest alien warriors in the form of electronic games. In the year 2001, more of Bomberman's adventures will be documented, including a recent escapade involving the foreign creatures simply known as "Karabon" in Bomberman Generation for the GameCube.


BOWSER:

Reprinted with kind permission from fellow webmaster, Highlander.

Full Name: Bowser Svenshine Koopa

Race: Koopa

Gender: Male

Age: 29

Birthdate: June 13, 1969

Aliases: Gruntface, Lavabrains, Bowowowser, Turtleman and Spike

Games Appeared in: Super Mario Bros., Super Mario Bros. 3, Super Mario World, Super Mario Kart, Mario Kart 64, Super Mario 64, Super Mario RPG, Tetris Attack, Yoshi's Island: Super Mario World 2, Mario Golf, Super Mario Bros. DX, Mario's Time Machine, Mario is Missing, Yoshi's Story, Paper Mario, Mario Tennis, Mario Party, Mario Party 2, Mario Party 3

Favourite Food: Plumber la mode

Apparel: a spiked shell on his back

Marital Status: Single

Normal Status: Alive (and dead, countless times)

Role in Life: Toadstool-kidnapper, Koopa Troop-commander, Mario-killer

Favorite Quote: "Gwa ha ha!"

Hidden Shames: His red hair used to be pink, but he dyed it. He also has a small tail.

Basic Facts:
- wants Princess Toadstool
- hates Mario
- owns a Koopa Troop

Life Story: Baby Bowser was so cute!! He had these adorable little eyes and a pudgy litle face that just screamed "HUG ME!! SQUEEZE ME!! KISS ME!!". He also had a cute little tail that was irresistable to old Koopa Grandmas. So, Bowser was constantly being fussed over, and hugged, and kissed, and squeezed, and pampered. You would think that with this kind of treatment, he would have grown up to be a nice Koopa. But he didn't. One night, the night of his Koopa Kollege graduation, Something happened...

He was going with a girl named Greeny. She was the prettiest Koopa in Bowser's school, and Bowser really liked her. First there was the dance, then the graduation, then... after the graduation. Bowser and his girlfriend wre taking a long walk at the side of the road. Bowser started to think about all that he had been through: Elementary school, (Bowser was the top student) High School, Combat Academy, (he took it during the summer break. In Koopa Land, the summer break is 4 months long) and Koopa Kollege. He found himself wondering what he would do next, when the ground started to shake. "Eeeek!!" screamed Greeny. Bowser turner around to see a stampede of Grandma Koopas!

"Nooooooo!!" Bowser wailed in anguish. "Don't let this happen, not no----!!" The last few words of his sentence were drowned out by the thundering footsteps of all those grandmas. Soon, they were upon him, hugging, squeezing and kissing him to death. He tried to fight back, but it was no use. By what seemed to be from some evil magic, the sound died down just enough for him to hear: "Bowser, you have a short tail."

That did it. He cracked. He became furious and roared "YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT ME LIKE THAT!!" He flung all of the grandmas off in a rage and stormed off into the night. He was never seen in Koopa Town again.

Some say that he drowned himself in a river. Others say that he cast himself off a cliff to splatter on the jagged rocks below. But you and I know what really happened: He joined the Koopa Troop. Now he could vent his rage by destroying things, and he found that he liked it. He also learned how to breathe fire, which was taught to him by his master. He became so cunning, that he double-crossed several of his peers and assumed command by defeating the master in a battle. He then took up residence in a castle. Soon he was lonely, and yearned for company. Thus, the Toadstool-napping days begin.


KIRBY: Full Name: Kirby Spooter DuPouf

Race: Cream Puff (or a mutated piece of cotton candy)

Gender: Scientists will be checking out the situation

Age: 12

Birthdate: September 4, 1986

Aliases: Puff Dadu, Twinkie, Fluffy McPuffy, Ice Chewy Rak

Games Appeared in: Kirby's Dream Land, Kirby's Adventure, Kirby's Pinball Land, Kirby's Star Stacker, Kirby's Dream Land 2, Kirby's Dream Course, Kirby's Avalanche, Kirby Block Ball, Kirby Super Star, Kirby's Dream Land 3, Super Smash Bros., Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards, Kirby Tilt 'N Tumble

Favourite Food: Sushi (he was created in Japan, you know)

Apparel: pink outer crust

Marital Status: He ain't married, but should be!

Normal Status: Alive

Role in Life: Dedede-smacker, star-retriever, air-slurper

Favorite Quote: "Slurrrrrrrrrrrrrp!"

Hidden Shames: has a flaking problem, the occasion filling leak.

Basic Facts:
- is a cream puff who is on the side of good
- very pink and fluffy
- starred in many games
- is Toad's poker buddy
- hates Dedede and the 'Dark Matter'

Life Story: Once upon a time, in Dream Land, there were two adults, Robert DuPouf and Carrie O'Cremit. They met in high school and from then on, they were inseparable. After nearly 10 years of consecutive dating, they got married. All was well in the life of Robert and Carrie DuPouf. A year later, they decided to have a baby. 9 months later, Carrie gave birth to a small little cream puff. They named it Jill. A few years after THAT, Carrie gave birth to the one we call Kirby.

Kirby lived the simple life. He walked at age 1, and spoke at age 3. He then went on to John N. Puffen Elementary School, until the present time.

One day, on his way home from school, Kirby noticed a huge crowd gathering around the town fountain. All the people were chattering. Shouts such as "IT'S GONE! IT'S GONE!" and "THIS IS INDEED A DARK DAY FOR DREAM LAND!" were heard throughout the crowd. Kirby wedged his way to the front of the crowd, and found his family. "Wh-what's going on?" the young Kirby asked. His mother replied, "Son, I'm afraid the stars of life have been stolen from our precious town!" Kirby asked who took it. He found out it was the evil Dedede, who wanted to take over the land...

The mayor of Dream Land stood upon a podium and spoke to the crowd in a calm, soothing manner. He called, "Citizens! What we need... is a hero! One who will search for the stars, and defeat Dedede for them! If you wish to complete this task, please step forward." But nobody stepped forward. So Kirby coughed up all this courage, and stepped forward. The mayor pointed to Kirby. "Young boy, will YOU save our town?" Kirby agreed. The crowd cheered, except for Kirby's parents, who had a worried look. He assured them he would succeed, and then rolled off into the sunset to start what would become a lengthy perilous journey.

He defeated the great Dedede, but his quest was not over. Dedede stole the stars again, and eventually more enemies tried this. And now, Kirby is up to his armpits with quests, ranging from the death of the Dark Matter, to battle Nintendo's other famed characters in a big smashing battle!

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