Do you remember that song "Everytime We Touch" by Cascada? It's a really cheese-rich song that is amazingly overplayed at high school dances and absolutely beyond commercially produced. And, more importantly, very few people will admit that they like the song. You may be one of those people who are suddenly infected with the urge to boogie down every time you hear that song. Okay. Now picture a song similar to this, except that most people won't admit to liking it because, quite frankly, they just don't. It's not a great song. It tries to come in an easy-to-swallow pill form, just like "Everytime We Touch"... except that it tries to hard and ends up being more like a suppository. That's what "God Is A Girl" is. I'm not going to beat around the bush: it's fake and painfully artificial. Yes, "Everytime We Touch" is too, but at least that song is fun for dancing. This one is less fun. This one is as dry as an unused groin cup.
Now I have never been able to declare Groove Coverage as a group capable of creating anything breathtaking or inspirational, and such is the case with a song like this. In essence, they are just a few people trying to capitalize on their consistently overused German cheesy dance formula, and this song is a good example of that. Although not all the lyrics are bad, with horrible chorus lyrics like "God is a girl / She's only a girl / Do you believe it / Can you receive it", can anyone really take them seriously? I hope that they are laughing in the studio every time they produce a new track because if they believe they are making serious works of art, someone needs to give them a boot in the behind. The Radio Edit is sort of a mashup of a slow ballad and a "hot" dance track. Unfortunately, the dance part fails mainly because of the gritty awful lead synth that they use. Even worse, it is quite common for most Groove Coverage singles to use it. That's a shame. The Album Version takes out the dance track element (thankfully), leaving it to remain a ballad. However, there isn't much different except for the fact that it wouldn't receive any club play. The Extended Version, however, is likely to be suffer that inevitable fate, and its acid synth buildup intro (which lasts for two minutes before entering the part of the song used in the Radio Edit) is pretty much asking for some hands-up action. But please, keep your hands down.
Axel Konrad has created a remix for this, which is silly, considering the fact that he is one of the main producers behind Groove Coverage. Hasn't he destroyed enough credibility by just releasing the original version? It, too, bears many similarities to the Extended Version, particularly in the fact that it has become a dance remix. However, the beat is far more reverbed, perhaps as an homage to anything from the 80s. Still, it's nothing special and reeks of modern German eurodance trends. It can provide energy to a crowd, but I can't quite give it any points beyond that. If that is all that this remix set out to do, it has succeeded. The Rocco Remix follows the same genre as well, offering very little in terms of innovation or true re-creation of the song, aside from a new instrumental melody, although the typical German dance synth is still present. I have come to recognize Rocco as a German artist who consistently releases corny hard dance such as this, so I am not surprised by what I hear.
I make few apologies for the nature in which I have treated this single. I simply cannot allow for ill music such as this to roam free through the city streets without receiving due justice. The best part about this single is the cover; having a girl stick a finger betwixt her undergarments is the cherry on the marketing jubilee, in a manner of speaking. Still, this is dance music at its peak of commerciality. I don't care for this, although I wouldn't hold it against you if you are one of those people who love it. Groove Coverage have never delivered the 'wow factor' to me with any of their music; in fact, I get more groans out of their tunes than I do out of most artists. In an ocean of vocal trance/dance music, this single sinks to the bottom.
