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CAST: John Schneider, Bruce Davison, James Best et al.
// review by Meow

The Return of the Cheap Effects!

Fifty-three freaking years later, in 2012, the world was graced with the most unanticipated sequel ever. The world was gonna end, so we may as well make a sequel to a film almost no one knows about!

Return of the Killer Shrews is a rather special film, being made what I can only assume to be as intentionally terrible, being more humorous in references to both the original work with one of the first victims referring to a shrew as a dog, as well as references to real life works of the actors involved, including the return of the Captain from the original film whose role is reprised by the ORIGINAL actor. This film is pure 2000s cheese, and it's glorious.

Here we start off with a crudely remade scene from the original film where the captain's deckhand gets killed by shrews, but instead of dogs in rags, it's very poorly created thingamajigs rendered in pure CGI trash. We fast-forward to modern day 2012 where the Captain is once again piloting his boat, this time bringing some reality TV people to the island to group up with the rest of the crew. Sure enough, the shrews that ate everything on the island over 50 years ago were around to start devouring people in a cheesy manner of over- and under-acting befitting a modern B-Movie. Eventually, the crew decides to search for the missing crew members, all the while shooting it like it's some daring rescue to televise. Soon enough, we discover that some crusty old man is controlling the shrews, and he proceeds to sic them on everyone, scattering them into a few groups, and killing a few of them along the way. We see that the shrews are dragging these people off somewhere and that the crusty old man is cooking some of their body parts. The Captain and most of the crew manage to make it into the confines of the lab facility from the original film, and hole up there and wait out the shrew attack. The director of the tv show isn't through making entertainment though, and decides to try making more footage, getting another crew member killed, and estranging another from the rest of the group who, for some reason, finds out that the shrews are strangely scared of crossing this tiny brook of water because... I guess shrews are deathly afraid of getting wet, I guess.

The taming of the killer shrews.

After more stupidity gets more of them picked off, eventually the captain figures out that the crusty old man is the cowardly scientist from years back, and he's looking for payback. Eventually they confront each other in a comical fight scene, and we get the generic bad guy monologue where he explains his whole way of controlling the shrews and all that. Luckily, one of the crew members manages to restrain the old coward, and they force him into keeping the shrews off so that everyone can make it to the boat safely. And by the power of plot, the whole island became flammable and they shot a flare and blew it up, cowardly cannibal, shrews, n' all. Sorta. It ends with the CGI shrews being fine, and the old coot just being covered in soot.

I have to say, this thing was really an unexpected find. It's gloriously cheesy and a fun time. Plus, the DVD also has a copy of the original film on it, so it's like a two-fer. I can gladly recommend this to anyone who loves trash films like this, especially on the factor of it being a randomly made sequel to an obscure film. I will end on one note, though: the end of the film suggests that there will be yet ANOTHER sequel under the name of "Revenge of the Killer Shrews", and there is indeed a Facebook page about it, as well as an Indiegogo campaign, with the Indiegogo achieving only around $800 of its flexible goal, so who knows if this thing will ever get released, with this campaign occurring three years ago.

[Editor's Note: Is this movie at all relevant?]

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